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7 Realest Lyrics About Life From Camila Cabello
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Valentine’s Day Special: Hot Takes From Hot Dates on Tinder in Singapore

By  February 13, 2018

Singaporeans use the popular dating app Tinder for plenty of reasons. Chief among them is the quest for “strictly friends!!” and to sate a seemingly voracious appetite for Din Tai Fung. God forbid you pursue true love or worse – consensual casual sex.  

Whatever your lewd intentions may be, there are two universal rules to getting a match on Tinder. 1) Be attractive. 2) Don’t be unattractive. To normies, this almost always translates into attempts at pleasing the eye on a platform that inherently enables a culture centred on the cosmetic. There is however, a threshold for swiping left on yet another highlight reel of strategically scenic, oh so unique 35mm photographs and that’s where we come in.

Beauty as they say is in the eye of the beholder and it was our hope to single out the most eligible singles on Tinder strictly based on the songs they chose to flaunt on their profile. It would be nothing short of a decisive blow against societal expectations as we believed we could finally prove that appreciating good music was enough to score you a date. After all, wearing your heart – or in this case, subjectively good anthems – on your sleeve is attractive, right?

Instead, the only conclusion we could draw after sifting through what seemed like Spotify’s Top Hits Singapore playlist was the fact that an overwhelming abundance of users (mostly men) had opinions itching to see the light of day. All we had to do was steer these nuggets of knowledge in the right direction. These gentlemen readily brandished strong thoughts about the current state of contemporary music and so we tapped into this precious resource, probing them with questions only a true connoisseur could provide the answers to. So, shoot, shag or share a BTO?

Hi Darren. You’re my first super like! How important is taste in music to you?

hahahahaha. not important but it’ll be nice to be with someone who has similar tastes.  I super liked u cos i’m curious on what your music taste are 

So you like the Foo Fighters but you also paid money to be at Ultra. Wtf?

i went to ultra because i like to party but i also love the foo fighters, i went for their concert too!  i mean there’s nothing wrong in liking different genres right?

Wise words. Do you think rock music is dead though?

nah it’s not dead. it's just that the younger generation prefer pop more. but rock will never die.

Hi Charmaine. Are you aware that XXXTENTACION was charged with aggravated battery of a pregnant woman and domestic battery by strangulation amongst other things?

Huh?

Your Tinder anthem by the rapper XXXTENTACION? He allegedly abused his partner.

Oh that one. I didn’t notice.

So… Denis Stoff. Yay or nay?

Nay. I’m a whore-snop. Stoff was a major step back for the band. Made them sound shitty. The Black should’ve been titled “Sit Down and Scream”

Interest me

Hello Ulil (u lil piece of shit). You’re a “producer” so you probably know what’s good. What’s good?

I can’t say what’s good or not, it depends on people

Hi Randy. Is Rich Brian better than Rich Chigga?

thats a no form me darlin

So you’re saying that Brian should have kept his original, racially offensive name?

yes he should’ve kept his racially offensive name

Cool. Any chance you’re one of those straight Chinese boys who think it’s cool to use the N-word freely?

no i dont use nigger freely, its just not smth i'd say. its not in my common words to describe people list

Right. Rich Brian and 88Rising claim to be flying the “Asian” flag but I think that’s problematic because they don’t seem very inclusive. Would “orient” flag be a better description?

why would “asian” flag not be considered inclusive

So far, 88Rising includes only musicians of Chinese, Korean and Japanese descent. Also, the name kind of speaks for itself.

Hi Vicky. From your experience, how would you describe the average of Singaporean’s taste in music?

Hey! Mainly EDM from what I’ve seen!

Sooo… Kinda meh, basic even? 

Yes.

My music taste is A1. Anyone that says anything else is wrong.

Oh hi Zikry. Do you think that people should want to go with you just because of your amazing taste?

Yes.

So what are some songs that to you reveal bad taste?

Boy band songs and songs from pre-teens. They are a complete turn off.

You’d swipe left on someone just because One Direction etc. is their anthem?

Depends if there are other songs on their profile that can redeem them.

Hey there, Nudge. The new Fall Out Boy is Not GoodTM. Do you agree?   

I wouldn’t say that it’s not good… but it’s just different. They have to adapt to the suit trend of the times. It’s still awesome music by them.

So are you saying that artists do need to drastically change their sound?

Drastically?? They always have been a pop punk group. They are just more inclined to pop nowadays. FOB although inclined to pop… they have still have the punk feel within their music. Especially the lyrics.

Hi Ryan. Is it safe to say that you’re a man who wholeheartedly loves the Canadian rock band Nickelback?

Wholeheartedly I wouldn’t say that but I do like some of their songs.

Do people give you shit for liking Nickelback?

Nope never actually. Why tho?

Somepeople think they’re a joke band and enjoy making jokes about them, I believe. What would you say to the haters?

Well people are entitled to their opinions and it is their prerogative whether or not to poke fun at them. I have nothing to say to these people as I believe that haters do not deserve attention to anyone so why waste my precious time and energy on them?

So Smash Mouth, eh?

Hello to you too, Ian. Has having an objectively good taste in music helped you find your significant other?

Not really. Actually it made me more selective and choosy. Like I met this cute girl and we clicked then I found out she listened to Justin Bieber and I was like crying I’m kinda more toleratable now

Right, because at the end of the day isn’t taste in music just another arbitrary if not elitist form of judgement?

Hmm I don’t think so. Taste in music can lead to compatibility. Especially culturally and entertainment habits. Compatibility could lead to better conversations though not guaranteed.

 

Photo credit: The Weinstein Company


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